Mr Bloom's Packet

Parents will know what I mean when I talk about Mr Bloom and his Nursery. They might also recall the furore last summer when lusty online Mums sparked interest from the media after it was spotted there was a collective fancy of the allotment-loving man. Mums were saying things like "my little girl loves Mr Bloom, and I must admit I fancy him myself" and "I often wonder what he'd look like without those gardening clothes on?"

For those of you who haven't a clue who I'm talking about, Mr Bloom (Ben Faulks in real life) is a character in a TV series for 'tiddlers' aimed at educating them about the goodness of vegetables using likeable characters, including for instance Sebastian the Aubergine (my personal favourite).

Before I go on let me make something clear. Mr Bloom, he's OK. I don't fancy him (much), I just enjoy his program with Grace more than some of the others we sometimes watch. Like Justin's House or Rasta Mouse. Why? Because veggies aside, he's a likeable Yorkshire lad (in character) who makes me want to string up bunting in the garden and have a go at growing radishes. Really. So what's my beef?

He's turning my own little tiddler, Grace, into a Yorkshire lass. Na' then ah'm not sayin ther's owt rong wi' t' Yorksha accent, bur bein 'alf Yorksha 'alf sahthern ah thowt grace 'ood be eur lahl less broad. Hmm.
Every word Grace says or begins to form sounds like Mummy and Daddy... neither board Yorkshire nor Queens English and plummy. She's a hybrid mix that sounds, rather, well... like Grace. However, the word she seems to say the most (Hello) is very very broad. And manly. Like Mr Bloom. In fact she's so like him when she says it, she actually lowers her voice to speak in the same octave as Mr Bloom.... my darling Grace is becoming a twenty-something Yorkshire lad. It's quite disturbing to listen to!

On the upside, she's learning her vegetables so I mustn't really grumble. He is after all quite fit. Mr Bloom can sow his seeds in my garden any day.

With Mr Bloom: Colin the Runner Bean, Joan the Fennel, Margaret the Cabbage, Raymond the Butternut Squash. (Photo: BBC)