Wallflower

wall·flow·er/ˈwôlˌflouər/

Noun:

A southern European plant (Cheiranthus cheiri) of the cabbage family, with fragrant yellow, orange-red, dark red, or brown flowers,... A person who has no one to dance with or who feels shy, awkward, or excluded at a party

Grace is a wallflower (feeling shy, not being of the cabbage family).

Twice this last week Grace has been in a social environment, and chosen to sit on my lap cuddling the whole time instead. Two hours at a birthday party, and two hours at play group. I can understand the party as it was a huge gathering at a venue she hasn't been to before - overwhelming by anyones standards. Play group is a little different. Us village mums go along every Monday morning for a cuppa and a catch up and it's always been a bit of a struggle to encourage Grace to play on her own.

She'll pull my finger, push my bottom, yank on my arm, anything to get me up to go to play with her... anything other than play on her own and give me five minutes peace with my friends. She's done this for a while, wants to be with me or her Daddy all the time, even at home in the garden she wants us with her doing whatever she wants to do all the time. The minute you step away she protests and clings to a limb. It's not that I want to abandon her, far from it.

It's an odd one. If she's at home, she'll play on her own no problem - she'll amuse herself for up to 45 minutes while I cook a meal or do some housework. It's just if she knows I am 'just there' she wants my attention. Back to play group and the birthday party - I've never encountered her not wanting to even get off my lap. I almost missed her tugging at my jumper to get up and play. Two hours solid both days she sat quietly, content, watching the other children playing. I aksed her several times if she wanted to go and play, and she'd always say no.

She was so invisible I felt like we were on a parallel plane, watching the party from the outside; we might as well not have been there.

I almost felt guilty taking a party bag and cake. Almost.

Should I be worried? Me and Matt the Husband aren't the most social of creatures.

Or is it just a phase she's going through?

All just another day being a Mum, I guess.