Keeping up with the Clarkeses

Neither Matt the Husband or myself know any Joneses and if we did, we'd inevitably feel we ought to be keeping up with them. They aren't runners, nor are they particularly quick, but they do seem to be leaders in the modern life must-haves benchmark.

Balls to benchmarks I say, but anyway - that's not the point of this blog.

I have a friend - a Clarke funnily enough - who is everything a modern Mum aspires to be, self included. Even Grace and Matt the Husband come over doe-eyed when they see her. Clarke is the epitomy of modern wannabe have-all, do-all Mothers. She does the hoovering - before work. She does the ironing, while watching the latest DVD with the kids and tickling her partner with her left big toe as she goes. She cooks - brilliantly and even manages to straighten her locks and apply a light organic tinted moisturiser before going to bed in case the emergency services knock on the door in the night. Oh and she's a looker too. (Read that back, I said looker, not hooker). Yes, this Clarke is fiendishly organised and tick-box savvy. A little dotty perhaps, but guuuuud!

So to the point.

Clarke has the ability to keep house, look great, hold down a job, raise two beautiful kids, and still polish the wheel trims on the car before the supermarket run, all without very much effort it would seem. I on the other hand, I am lucky if I get the hoover round once a week, bag clutter into the car if I run out of cupboard space and hope somewhere along the line Grace gets everything she needs from me in order to become a balanced healthy individual.

I've acquired a book that I'm hoping will help me. It's not chicken soup for the soul, or any other such self-help book. It's genius and I am half way through already. Obviously the hoovering is going amiss this week as my time is diverted elsewhere. Yes I hear you mutter, stop writing these sodding blogs and maybe you'd have more time for the cleaning... but YOU have Apps, twitter and wii fit. I have this blog, so nanas to you.

As for keeping up with the Clarkeses, I'm inspired. Wish me luck!!

p.s. Kim darling. This isn't about you, although we both know you'd love it to be. You're still a great Clarke mind. X X X

And i f this post goes whoosh off the face of the earth AGAIN, I will be most miffed.

Captain Conjunctiva!

Grace has had a run in with Captain Conjunctiva and woke up this morning looking very pirate-like. Eyes sealed shut with lots of gunk slapped on with a glue stick sent in the night from Pirate Itis. Plenty of oo-arring in the bath under rough seas as we bathed the crust off. Not much more to say on the matter, apart from plugging a childrens book written by Preston Rutt, a chap I was in a drama group with in my teens - have a gander, it's a great story available from Amazon.

Grace's business venture

I can't send her to Dragons Den with it as it's not a new concept but I am chuffed that Mummy has a cunning plan for Birdie to earn her keep. Or at least contribute to it.

I can reassure you I have no plans for setting up a sweat shop in the new shed although I confess I did give it consideration - Matt the Husband reckoned on squeezing 4 sewing machines in, 5 at a push but we don't have anything that needs sewing so that was a non-starter.
Taking the idea from the Zen Habits blog (see our favourite things list), I have signed graceandme up for AdSense with google. Quite what this means I have yet to be enlightened - I gather it's me saying it's OK for google to place relevant ads on my page which I receive an income on based on the number of readers who click on the link.

I'll keep you posted. We'll put the money to one side for Grace's first pony. For now she'll have to make do with Karl.

Tartan Tot

Thanks to our Scottish friend Sheli, Grace is now kitted out in her very own Kilt. To mark the occasion, we spent the afternoon reading 'Rab the Haggis' by Uncle Marvo... we didn't understand a word of it. It's wonderfully good!
http://www.rabthehaggis.com/

Nine months none the richer

It should be Sixpence none the richer - the Texan pop/rock band from the 90's. I like to pick my titles from random things that pop into my head, so here you have it - Grace is nine months old, and I am certainly no richer. Well not financially. But I DO feel richer in my life per se - she's taking up such a large part of it, I can't help feel happy and content. She must be rubbing off on me. (No filth please, this is a family blog!)



Nine months in. Wow! Little birdie has been alive almost as long as she was sat inside me waiting to say hello to the big wide world. Many mothers I speak to seem to be on a roller coaster ride, as I am too... ups and downs, fear, excitement, tears and without a doubt the odd rant and tantrum. Matt the Husband is ever sporting - he learnt a long time ago to grin and bear it, and he does so ever so well. He has the odd blip where he turns into an irrational dribbler who can't form an argument for toffee and this leads to frustration on both parts because there's nothing I love more than a jolly good spar. Nonetheless, we haven't put coins into the sin tin for ages and Grace hasn't either - although she might be forming the odd word or two, there is nothing remotely akin to a swear word, thankfully.



Back to business. Grace is now merrily clapping her hands with gusto, beginning to bum-shuffle (copied the technique from Dimitris yesterday I believe), and sprouting baby teeth like they are going out of fashion. Six to date and still drooling.
Her sitting is spot on now - very stable and certainly her favoured position to be left in while I get on with 'jobs'. I have yet to have her weighed for her nine month milestone as I'm seeing the health visitor in the week and she'll be doing it then. I do know she's growing... her 12-18 month clothes are fitting exceptionally well and in some cases looking a little popeye.
Her legs have sprung into action this week and she loves doing squats while we support her under the arms. A plié, if you will.

Ballet aside, she's a little poppet and everybody comments on what a charming little girl she is. Here here!



So there you have it, nine months Grace, one skint Mummy. Parenthood - wouldn't swap it for anything.
Ciao!

Clampits in Cleethorpes

Once lumped in with Grimsby as one of the crap towns in the UK, I was under the impression that Grimsby goes with Cleethorpes like butter goes with bread. Doing my research beforehand when The Aged P's suggested it as a meeting point, I was somewhat concerned that we had slim chance of rustling up a Burberry baseball cap between us and worried we would stick out like a sore non-chav thumb. It was actually a lovely day and we didn't have any run ins with the locals apart from a bitterly miserable woman at the beach front kiosk grumbling at how the wind had 'ruined' the bank holiday for business. Ignoring that, we had a faultless day. Possibly with the slight exception of:

1) Me ending up looking like a scarecrow after forgetting a hair band to keep the mane under control, and

2) Matt the Husband getting Mother's wheelchair stuck in the sand dunes in his comical attempt to be a superhero

Nevertheless, Grace had a great time and did ever so well eating al fresco while having her cobwebs blown asunder with the gale of a sea breeze.

Dimitris' Christening

Grace had a very interesting Saturday afternoon attending a Greek Orthodox Christening for Dimitris Colin King, her second cousin. I think. I have always been more than a little confused on family generation lines, but for posterity, here is my best stab at it...

If Christina and I are first cousins, then I am cousin once removed from Dimitris, meaning he is one generation distant from me. Grace and Dimitris are therefore second cousins as they are children of first cousins. I find it ever so confusing, and as such Dimitris knows me as Auntie Heather and Grace with Auntie Christina. It's no wonder family generation lines are foggy - we create it! I'll pencil it in for sometime distant to draw a big algorithm for Grace to nail it before she starts school so she can wow her teacher.





Today in the news...

Moorland fires across parts of Lancashire, Northern Ireland and Wales are causing immense damage to flora and fauna while firefighters battle to tackle the blazes fanned by strong winds and accelerated by weeks of dry weather.

Osama Bin Laden today has been reported killed in a raid on a location in Pakistan by US forces. America's Most Wanted, Head of Al-Qaeda thought to be responsible for the attacks on September 11th 2001 where 19 hijackers took control of 4 commercial airliners and committed terrorism, killing over 3000 people.

The late Pope, John Paul II was yesterday beatified at a ceremony at the vatican in front of hundreds of thousands of Catholic faithful. Beatification, or declaring a person to be "blessed", is the necessary prelude to full sainthood. For this to happen, the Vatican must declare the person to have performed a miracle. In John Paul II's case, Sister Marie, 49, said she and her fellow nuns had prayed for the intercession of the Pope after his death to cure her from Parkinson's Disease. Her sudden cure had no logical medical explanation and she later resumed her work as a maternity nurse, the Vatican says.

News taken from bbc.co.uk