Neither Matt the Husband or myself know any Joneses and if we did, we'd inevitably feel we ought to be keeping up with them. They aren't runners, nor are they particularly quick, but they do seem to be leaders in the modern life must-haves benchmark.
Balls to benchmarks I say, but anyway - that's not the point of this blog.
I have a friend - a Clarke funnily enough - who is everything a modern Mum aspires to be, self included. Even Grace and Matt the Husband come over doe-eyed when they see her. Clarke is the epitomy of modern wannabe have-all, do-all Mothers. She does the hoovering - before work. She does the ironing, while watching the latest DVD with the kids and tickling her partner with her left big toe as she goes. She cooks - brilliantly and even manages to straighten her locks and apply a light organic tinted moisturiser before going to bed in case the emergency services knock on the door in the night. Oh and she's a looker too. (Read that back, I said looker, not hooker). Yes, this Clarke is fiendishly organised and tick-box savvy. A little dotty perhaps, but guuuuud!
So to the point.
Clarke has the ability to keep house, look great, hold down a job, raise two beautiful kids, and still polish the wheel trims on the car before the supermarket run, all without very much effort it would seem. I on the other hand, I am lucky if I get the hoover round once a week, bag clutter into the car if I run out of cupboard space and hope somewhere along the line Grace gets everything she needs from me in order to become a balanced healthy individual.
I've acquired a book that I'm hoping will help me. It's not chicken soup for the soul, or any other such self-help book. It's genius and I am half way through already. Obviously the hoovering is going amiss this week as my time is diverted elsewhere. Yes I hear you mutter, stop writing these sodding blogs and maybe you'd have more time for the cleaning... but YOU have Apps, twitter and wii fit. I have this blog, so nanas to you.
As for keeping up with the Clarkeses, I'm inspired. Wish me luck!!
p.s. Kim darling. This isn't about you, although we both know you'd love it to be. You're still a great Clarke mind. X X X
And i f this post goes whoosh off the face of the earth AGAIN, I will be most miffed.