Answer me this. If your child is overtired and emotional at bedtime, do you:
a) ignore the screaming and upset, pulling the clothes off a distraught toddler to get them into bed so they can sleep sooner, or
b) does your heart rule, slowing the process to navigate through the tears to find time in between bouts of upset for a comforting and soothing cuddle, but knowing each time you do this it's taking longer to get them to bed?
I'm usually have a no-nonsense approach to parenting but a rough week at work has worn me down and instead of ploughing on I wanted to spend time with Grace last night. Almost like therapy, my comforting her comforted me. It took half an hour to get her clothes off, she point blank refused... very noisily. But I felt better having soothed her through the process even though it should have taken two minutes. I eventually left her screaming on the change table with Matt the Husband who told me he disagreed with dragging it out and we just needed to ignore her tears and protests and get her into her jammies and into bed. I left and five minutes later once her head hit the pillow, the screaming stopped and she fell asleep.
I could have throttled him. I still want to because I think he was right and I was wrong. I know it's not about competing, about who knows best, but it does rile me to think I caused my daughter more upset by dragging it out. Hmph.
Discuss.
posted by a miserable mum in the morning
Showing posts with label Daily Routines. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Daily Routines. Show all posts
Thursday, 14 June 2012
Wednesday, 6 June 2012
(Extra) Good Books
Bedtime routine has always been an easy affair in our house. Grace climbs the stairs at the end of the bedtime hour on CBeebies at 7pm, plays while her bath is run, cleans her teeth and then hops in the tub. How long she spends in there depends on her mood and whether there is a tired-toddler-tantrum hanging out in the wings.
Recently Grace has been employing tactics to delay bedtime, even though she might be overtired.
Take today for instance. A full day of flat out fun at nursery, total nap time 50 minutes... short by Grace's standards. She's tired. I know it, because she whinged her way through dinner, refused a bath, refused to clean her teeth and insisted on clinging to my finger the whole time (and I mean the whole time) from walking in the door from work to getting as far as putting her in her PJs ready for bed. It's hard cooking dinner with a toddler on your hip. Anyway, there I am, Grace in her PJs and she throws another paddy, desperate to wear the t-shirt I have laid out for tomorrow morning. Judging by the kicking and screaming, she has a very strong opinion this is going to be put on top of her pyjama top - she's not fussed about being too warm - this is how it HAS to be. So we do it.
Tantrum abated, we read a book and she has some milk to drink before I lift her gently into bed and sneak out of the room as she falls asleep as her head hits the pillow.
In my dreams.
For about a week now, since we got back from Turkey, Grace has decided she is NOT letting her Mummy go at bedtime. AND she wants to read book after book after book... at bedtime. I am hostage. Any attempt to inch closer to the door brings on tantrums, red faces, tears (and I'm certain, bad language).
She has two books that are flavour of the day, currently being read so often I almost know them verbatim. Tonight, we read the same book 3 times, and she still wanted more. Now either Grace is slipping into the terrible two's a little early, or these writers of children's book are jolly good at what they do and have a lot to answer for.
Julia Donaldson, author of The Gruffalo is first on my hit list. What the Ladybird Heard is a super little story that lets me exploit my inner-Yorkshire voice to become the story teller. Grace enjoys the rhyming, the animal noises and the way she gets to spot the ladybird on each page.
Shortly followed by Chloe & Mick Inkpen who penned this little beauty...
Both much loved, dog earred, dribbled on, taken to bed and slept on like a pillow. These books are currently Grace's bedtime comfort. When Mummy's handhold slips from the room, these books are there to comfort. Yes, I listen to tears as I close the door and she realises when I say it's bedtime it really is bedtime. But after a moment or so, I can hear her settling down with a good book before she drifts off to sleep.
Not just a good book. An extra-good book.
Recently Grace has been employing tactics to delay bedtime, even though she might be overtired.
Take today for instance. A full day of flat out fun at nursery, total nap time 50 minutes... short by Grace's standards. She's tired. I know it, because she whinged her way through dinner, refused a bath, refused to clean her teeth and insisted on clinging to my finger the whole time (and I mean the whole time) from walking in the door from work to getting as far as putting her in her PJs ready for bed. It's hard cooking dinner with a toddler on your hip. Anyway, there I am, Grace in her PJs and she throws another paddy, desperate to wear the t-shirt I have laid out for tomorrow morning. Judging by the kicking and screaming, she has a very strong opinion this is going to be put on top of her pyjama top - she's not fussed about being too warm - this is how it HAS to be. So we do it.
Tantrum abated, we read a book and she has some milk to drink before I lift her gently into bed and sneak out of the room as she falls asleep as her head hits the pillow.
In my dreams.
For about a week now, since we got back from Turkey, Grace has decided she is NOT letting her Mummy go at bedtime. AND she wants to read book after book after book... at bedtime. I am hostage. Any attempt to inch closer to the door brings on tantrums, red faces, tears (and I'm certain, bad language).
She has two books that are flavour of the day, currently being read so often I almost know them verbatim. Tonight, we read the same book 3 times, and she still wanted more. Now either Grace is slipping into the terrible two's a little early, or these writers of children's book are jolly good at what they do and have a lot to answer for.
Julia Donaldson, author of The Gruffalo is first on my hit list. What the Ladybird Heard is a super little story that lets me exploit my inner-Yorkshire voice to become the story teller. Grace enjoys the rhyming, the animal noises and the way she gets to spot the ladybird on each page.
Shortly followed by Chloe & Mick Inkpen who penned this little beauty...
Both much loved, dog earred, dribbled on, taken to bed and slept on like a pillow. These books are currently Grace's bedtime comfort. When Mummy's handhold slips from the room, these books are there to comfort. Yes, I listen to tears as I close the door and she realises when I say it's bedtime it really is bedtime. But after a moment or so, I can hear her settling down with a good book before she drifts off to sleep.
Not just a good book. An extra-good book.
Thursday, 3 May 2012
Curiouser and curiouser
I have started a trend. For several days now, bedtime routine has gone like clockwork. The putting to bed of the hair clips into the little bowl in the cupboard has worked a treat. But much like opening a packet of chocolate Hobnobs and eating one, you just know there is more to follow.
Tuesday night, Grace took her shoes to bed with her. She wore them in bed until the wee hours when she woke in a panic with hot-foot syndrome which sent Matt the Husband flying in a panic to remove said shoes before she work up proper.
Last night, we said 'goodnight' to just about every toy in the house. Three times she checked the doors were closed on her Happyland school house, just to make sure all the little people inside were safe. Twice she stopped to kiss 'Sheli', one of her favourite characters. Shooing her up the stairs, she look at me as if to say, 'this is just how it has to be Mama!'.
I wonder what tonight will bring?
One thing I know for certain, Grace likes things a certain way. Just like me. Curious.
Tuesday night, Grace took her shoes to bed with her. She wore them in bed until the wee hours when she woke in a panic with hot-foot syndrome which sent Matt the Husband flying in a panic to remove said shoes before she work up proper.
Last night, we said 'goodnight' to just about every toy in the house. Three times she checked the doors were closed on her Happyland school house, just to make sure all the little people inside were safe. Twice she stopped to kiss 'Sheli', one of her favourite characters. Shooing her up the stairs, she look at me as if to say, 'this is just how it has to be Mama!'.
I wonder what tonight will bring?
One thing I know for certain, Grace likes things a certain way. Just like me. Curious.
Tuesday, 1 May 2012
Say Goodnight, Hair Clip!
A friend once told me I'd never get hair clips in Grace's hair as I hadn't started the practice early enough. Cut to visions of screaming fits as the unruly toddler pulls at the little article, trying frantically to pull said metal accessory out of one's fluffy chicken hair.
Not so.
What I am actually faced with is the reluctance to give up the hair clip at the end of the day. She likes it, and does not want to release the item from her possession. Cue tantrum.
Rooting around in my back pocket for a dose of magic, I pull out a new bed time routine.
Before climbing the stairs to run a bath, Grace and me, we put our hair clips to bed. Hers and mine, disengaged from tangled hair, we un-clip in unison, say goodnight hair clip, and pop the clips together in a little bowl that lives in the cupboard by the fridge. She gives me a hug and nods her head in agreement.
They're safe in there Mum!
For more on bribery and influence in toddlers, click here
Not so.
What I am actually faced with is the reluctance to give up the hair clip at the end of the day. She likes it, and does not want to release the item from her possession. Cue tantrum.
Rooting around in my back pocket for a dose of magic, I pull out a new bed time routine.
Before climbing the stairs to run a bath, Grace and me, we put our hair clips to bed. Hers and mine, disengaged from tangled hair, we un-clip in unison, say goodnight hair clip, and pop the clips together in a little bowl that lives in the cupboard by the fridge. She gives me a hug and nods her head in agreement.
They're safe in there Mum!
For more on bribery and influence in toddlers, click here
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