Wednesday, 25 January 2012

The problem with Husbands

Evidently there are many. When I met Matt the Husband known then simply as Matt, I overlooked the fact that he too was a person with the need for sleep. I presumed women’s lore trumped and I would sleep while he tended to our love child in the dark pre-dawn hours. I was wrong.

Muffled cries from the child’s room this morning left me burying my head under the pillow and nudging Matt the Husband with my elbow. Since marrying, my elbow does not have the power it once had and I am verging on calling a war meeting. You see, he has started snoring. The primary reason for marrying the thirty-something was supposedly his eligible bachelor USP. HE DID NOT SNORE. A few weeks ago, he suffered inflamed tonsils and since then has been to and fro to the Doctors office trying out a variety of different anti-b's for size. Nothing is working. His tonsils are still the size of cherries and his snoring is driving me round the bend.

In the good old days, one nudge from the elbow would see him roll over and sleep quietly again so he never really developed an established snore. No more. Nights nowadays are spent listening to him rattling like train going over a rickety bridge and I'm on the verge. I'm knackered. HE is moody because I keep waking him up to stop him snoring, and Grace is still grizzling in her bedroom waiting to be rescued by her Daddy. But the problem is this... since he started snoring and losing sleep, he has been less inclined to spring out of bed at the crack of dawn to tend to our aforementioned daughter. He pretends he's asleep. He pretends he can't hear her. He pretends it's my turn but the silly sod has forgotten our pre-nup that clearly states HE DOES NIGHT TIME WITH DAUGHTER (as God knows, I need my beauty sleep). Alas times are tough in the Langdale household.

Eventually he did slide out of the bed after suffering a number of blows from my ever-frustrated elbow, and he did look after Grace's needs as he does so well when it's dark outside. He plonked her on the sofa in front of CBeebies and pissed off into the shower. So as it turns out, I had to get up anyway.

And THAT my friends, is the problem with husbands.


  1. That snoring is a huge problem in this house, too. So much so that we sleep in separate beds! It works.

    CJ x

    1. Separate beds? If this carries on he'll be out in the shed....