Don't blame it on the sunshine, don't blame it on the moonlight, don't blame it on the good times...
BLAME IT ON THE BUGGY!
It's in the lyrics, so I have to do as it says - blame it on the buggy.
That sodding Quinny Buzz 3, with it's wide wheel base, ten tonne weight and inexorable ability to be BIG in everything it does - it has a LOT to answer for.
So what if it comes with 5 star comfort and precision steering, the ability to turn on a six pence while pushing it with my little finger.
Who cares, when this bugger of a buggy has caused me pain and suffering???
Grace, the little dear, loves it - strutting her stuff on the buggy beat around the village with the dog, waving at her play mates like the Queen, as they wave back in their Asda smartprice 4 wheelers (the commoners) and MacLaren sports (the middle classes). But this means nothing to me - Lady Grace is happy, I am livid.
So what's to blame on the buggy?
1) Not being able to get into the loo at the shopping centre - the wheels are too wide - inconvenient, but free to fix - assuming you can ignore the tuts from the wheelchair users as I decend on the disabled conveniences.
2) Not being able to get into the changing rooms at Next - the buggy is too long to fit behind the curtain - inconvenient, but free to fix - though not permitted into the disabled cubicle (it's "against policy") you can get down to your smalls in the un-privacy of an end cubicle with the curtain wide open... fine, just avoid Half Term - too many leering snotty nose kids craning their necks to get a good look at my backside.
3) Not being able to change my own tyre - I have the AA to call when the car gets a flat, but who's there to rescue me when the buggy pulls a puncture half way round Newmillar Dam? The answer is nobody - I have the man handle the hulk of a thing round on the rim. Inconvenient, but a good workout for an out of shape Mum.
4) Not being able to fit in the car. You think I'm joking. Matt the Husband and I bought the buggy based on kerb appeal and a gripping promotional video with a forgettable soundtrack. Yep, the buggy didn't fit in the car, and no amount of pushing, grunting and cursing could change that. So we changed cars.
And it still didn't fit... until we realised the back seats slid forward, so now it fits in... JUST.
And what else? That's when our AA membership really came in handy. 4 breakdowns later (3 for the new car, one for me), we're on the road again and out of pocket. But Grace loves her new wheels and the space it affords her. On a recent trip to see her grandparents in Norfolk we managed to fit in all of her favorite toys along with the dog, right there in the boot with the buggy.
I hate it. Grace loves it. It's our first mother-daughter difference - she's got her own mind, and it's starting to show! Here is a photo of Grace at 9.5 months, up in arms about the talk of replacing the Quinny with a cheaper model so we can sell the Troublesome Touran and get a Robin Reliant instead.